Fossil Fuels & Terminal Greed

Why did the fossil fuel executive get kicked out of the empathy convention? He kept asking for carbon offsets for his tears.
My therapist told me to connect with my feelings. As a fossil fuel executive, I told him I outsourced that department years ago.
Heard they’re teaching compassion in business schools now. Fossil fuel executives are demanding a refund on their degrees.
What’s the difference between a fossil fuel executive and a robot? The robot might actually be programmed to care.
How many fossil fuel executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer to keep everyone in the dark about the rising temperatures.
If a tree falls in the forest and a fossil fuel executive is there, does he hear it? Only if it lowers the value of the timber rights he owns.
Scientists say the Earth is getting warmer. Fossil fuel executives say their holiday bonuses are too.
I tried to explain the concept of a sustainable future to a fossil fuel executive. He just asked if it was a new market for drilling.
What do you call a fossil fuel executive with a conscience? A renewable resource… because he’s so rare.
A fossil fuel executive walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor says, “I’ve got bad news, you appear to have a calcified heart.” The executive replies, “Great! Is that a taxable asset?”

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